today, i finally had the courage to tidy up my house
ever since that incident happened, i was just not myself anymore. i was out of my mind. i had been depressed, unenthusiastic, and uninterested about everything. i got lazy and just threw everything anywhere, literally and metaphorically. it's true that if your mind's a mess, your room becomes a mess too. i have no idea what has gotten into me today. i'm still trying to figure out what gave me the motivation and the courage to clean my room today. i really have no idea why i randomly, on a rainy Monday afternoon of July, decided to fucking get my life together. do i really have no idea or did i just forget the reason? i'm odd aren't i? yeah, i think so too. but i'm thinking of several possible reasons like maybe: (a) i have nothing else better to do with my life so i just randomly decide to clean my shit? or (b) i don't want my life to be crumbling anymore so i start by cleaning? or (c) i want to keep myself busy so i won't think about killing myself...
